Alright y’all it’s Spring!
Bring on the bees, pollen, allergies and rain! I’m not gonna lie… I’m not ready. I have crazy allergies and bees freak me out. This coronavirus made me scared to sneeze and there are murder hornets in the US. Spring is lowkey cancelled. But spring cleaning is due so do what you got to do with your home, your health and your clothes. I already know your mom has Mary J Blige blastin at 8am so get up and get it done. Go on that jog or start that cleanse. Do what you need to do to achieve your goals! But how about you clean your mind as well? Not legit taking a broom to your head and sweeping or eating a crazy looking root your grandma's friend told you about but a deep cleansing of yourself, your soul and your mindset. I did this a while ago and it helped me get a positive outlook on anything and everything in my life. It ultimately made me a better person. It made me more mindful about my thoughts, actions and words towards other people as well as myself.
There are three steps to cleanse your headspace and they’re pretty easy on paper but it’s a long process depending on how deep you tryna clean. If you’re ready for a challenge or just want to come out as a better person after quarantine then this is for you. Even if you think you don’t need it, a headspace cleansing could upgrade you a little bit. But first a definition. Your headspace is your mindset or state of mind. What these steps will do is help you take a deep look into yourself and acknowledge everything you got going on. The negative, the positive, the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Once you do this you can achieve peace with yourself, love for yourself, and an appreciation for all the qualities, quirks and all that you have. So wanna get started?
Step 1: Reflection
When a person reflects they look back on the things that have hindered them from growth. Your doubts, mistakes and insecurities. Start by finding a quiet place. This is some real deep mental diving and you need to focus. Adjust the space to help you relax. Light a candle, do some aromatherapy, put on some relaxing instrumental for background, etc. Whatever makes you comfortable. Next you need to meditate. Center yourself and bring yourself to an absolute blank relaxed state. Nothing should be going through your head. Hyperfocus on your breathing if you have to.
Now this next step could be for 5 minutes, 30 minutes or longer. Dive into your past. You could look all the way back to the earliest memory you have or the most traumatic memories since birth. You could look at a week ago, yesterday or that morning. It’s up to you. Seriously analyze the situations and say an “I feel/felt” statement. It’s a clarity thing.
Here’s the hard part for some. Let down your pride and find out what your insecurities are. What made you push that kid in the hallway? What made you say that to your parent(s)? What made you react that way? You should find things like “I was hurt”, “I was embarrassed”, “I felt ashamed”, “I felt attacked”, “This was out of my control and I was scared”, etc. You are opening up to yourself and that is one of the hardest things to do. Letting yourself be vulnerable is hard enough but to your harshest critic? That’s a challenge. Now comes the next step.
Step 2: Acknowledgement and Forgiveness
After step one you’ll definitely feel all the things weighing down on you. All those emotions you feel… let them out sweetheart. Let down that veil of pride and cry, scream, whatever you need to do to release those feelings but do it in a healthy way. Don’t break your mom’s favorite vase or punch a hole in the wall. Cry it out! Anger is a secondary emotion. That “anger” is pain and sadness mixed with frustration. Lashing out is simply trying to take control of a vulnerable situation where someone feels like they’ll be rejected or abandoned. Crying is perfectly fine. Shoot after a whoopin and a good cry that nap and food hit different right? Jokes aside, you’re acknowledging all those things you feel. You judged yourself based on other people's thoughts and opinions on you. You second guess yourself because people didn’t believe in you.
Now the most important thing. Forgive yourself. Forgiveness is a powerful thing y’all. Don’t make me preach. Accept your mistakes and understand they are lessons. Forgive yourself for those insecurities and doubts and understand that you are your own person. You are not perfect and no one is. Mistakes will be made. If there is trauma from someone else, you were not in control baby. You are not powerless or weak. You should feel a giant weight off your shoulders. Now that you have a blank canvas, here’s the final step.
Step 3: Rewiring
Now that you’ve completed steps one and two, it’s up to you to decide how you want to think, act and carry yourself. But here’s a suggestion. Love yourself. Thoroughly, unconditionally, and wholeheartedly. See the light at the end of the tunnel in every stressful situation. Don’t hang on to that hurt. You’re nothing but royalty and you deserve the moon and more.
While you rewrite yourself, get the JKing No Crown T Shirt and understand that your crown is not physical but it's within yourself.
Life is too short to be angry, sad, or any other negative emotion that only causes you to slow yourself. Focus on the beauty in life. You are worthy of happiness and prosperity. Hold yourself to the highest standard and carry yourself accordingly. Slow down and allow yourself to relax sometimes. Surround yourself with good company. There’s a difference between someone who pushes you for greatness and someone who wants you to fall into pieces.
My therapist told me to do this so I’m sharing Deborah’s knowledge ok?! Make a list of at least 10 things you are that you love. Like you’re loving, ambitious, caring, handsome/beautiful, intelligent, honest, generous, compassionate, empathetic, etc. Google words if you have to. Cut all the words out, fold them up and put them in a jar. This is a positivity exercise. So every morning, go to your jar, pick out three words, find a mirror and tell yourself “I am (insert word here)”. Those are the three things you are that day. Do that until you feel that you are all of those words without the exercise.
Alright y’all. That’s it for me. Sorry I couldn’t post for the last 2 weeks. Finals are here and it’s been stressful. I think next week should be about balance. Not how to stand on one foot or anything but how to balance everything in your life so you have some sanity. Suggestions? Stay Safe!